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10• Hey, my fella!


_How much to extract this tooth? – the patient asks the dentist.
_Two-hundred. – answers the dentist.
_WHAT?! Two-hundred for just a few minutes of work? That’s baloney! – the patient bites back.
_If you like, I can extract it veeeeeeery slowly… - says the dentist.

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Can it happen?
Yes, it can. This type of playful encounter is very common between some dentists and their patients, of course, both in agreement and knowing it’s only fun and games, just to loosen up and, in such a way, raise a better work place for the dentist and his patient.

Positive outcome:
The patient does not agree with the slow extraction and tells the dentist, if he does his job very fast, but really fast indeed, he’ll pay double. The dentist gets worked up and in less than thirty seconds the tooth is out. The patient is all smiles, and even faster jumps up from the chair and asks for the dentist to blink twice. Before the dentist blinks the second time, the patient is gone, and the rushed dentist will never see him again. There’s only a note on his desk, written by the patient, it says he’s never seen a tooth extraction this slow. Patient’s name: The Flash.

Tragic outcome:
The patient values his money and asks the dentist to extract his tooth very slowly, the slowest he can. The dentist takes the challenge and they make a bet: if the patient asks for the dentist to hurry up and remove the tooth already, he loses the bet and must pay double. If the dentist gets tired and hurry the extraction himself, the patient wins the bet and the dentist can’t charge him for the job done. Sure enough, both go into the surgery room. Ten years later, the new owner of the building calls the police saying he’s found two skeletons in the old practice room there. One of them had its mouth open and the other had a dental forceps on the right hand.

A dentist’s feedback:
Within a dentist’s price charged, or any professional, as a matter of fact, many aspects must count. It’s important to have in mind that a dentist has invested many years in studying, a lot, firstly, to get into college. Once inside, there were many other years of hard work, almost exclusively, dedicated to studying. Sometimes, he needed to move to a different city, handling the costs of transportation, food, living, education supplies and, frequently, with the excessive costs of the educational institutions. After graduation, there were even higher expenses, time and financial, with specialization courses, updates and improving his skills in general. Nevertheless, the costs of a dental practice, nowadays, are sky-high, a very large investment with a very slow financial return. In addition, there’s also the added responsibility on each dentist when treating a patient, a responsibility that extends to the after-treatment as well. If you count all that, we cannot measure the price charged only as a matter of time spent on the procedure, besides the professional’s time consumed, it also includes the supplies used, which are not cheap, they are equivalent to its quality. All this, without mentioning the fixed and variable costs of maintaining a practice, such as rent, assistants, taxes, water and power bills, equipment maintenance etc. You could cry…


 

 

25• Rookie hunk


The recent graduate dentist got a job at a distinguished dental clinic in town. Very flirty, he’s barely started working there and was already hitting on the assistants. Once, while going through the corridor, one assistant point out to the other:
_This new dentist dresses really well, don’t you think?
_Yeah, and really fast too! – the other answers back.

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Can it happen?
Yes, undoubtedly. If it’s already a common thing in a small dental practice, with just one dentist and one assistant, for the both of them to have an affair, imagine in a larger clinic, with many dentists and assistants. These things happen, there are none so blind as those who will not see.

Positive outcome:
The first assistant startles and with a huge surprised look asks: _WHAT?! Are you sleeping with him?! The other one tries to bypass the situation and says it’s nothing like that. She’s saw him one time, at the eating area, drinking some redcurrant juice and the juice splashed all over his white shirt, leaving a stain. He already had a patient waiting for him at the consulting room, so he, quickly, changed his outfit and went to see the patient. Her friend pretended to buy it, and everything went well.

Tragic outcome:
The first assistant startles and with a huge surprised look asks: _WHAT?! Are you sleeping with him?! He’s my boyfriend, you bitch! The other one answers: _Your boyfriend?! He’s told me he was single, he’s even asked me to be his girlfriend! He said he loved me… They look at each other, and without further ado, go after the hunk dentist. They find him at the eating area talking to another assistant, a pretty blond, and they’re giggling about something. The current girlfriend grabs him by the neck and knocks him over, without any time for understanding, the other one starts to hit him hard on the crotch, kicking nonstop. That gotta hurt! The last assistant, the one he was talking to at the eating area, the pretty blond, finally says: _Please, stop hitting my boyfriend!

A dentist’s feedback:
What a rookie dentist! Newbie, recent graduate, way to go! Did he really think that that clinic he got his first job at was that big that he could string along all of the assistants that fell for his game? Or he must have thought the assistants did not talk to each other and just like that he could say whatever he wanted to them and they would never find out. A classic case of a handsome Don Juan that goes down. A common strategy played by many lady-killers is to never deny they have a girlfriend. They always say to the new one he has a girlfriend, but they’re not in very good terms, that he wants to break up, but he’s just waiting for a good opportunity, so she does not end up hurt, because she’s very attached to him. Here, he immediately gains her trust and compassion, because, in her mind, he’s being honest in not lying about having a girlfriend and he’s also a good guy, because he does not want the girlfriend to get hurt. To top it off, he says that from the begging he’s felt very fond of her, but he could not say anything because he has a girlfriend. There! She’s played, if she has not fell for him yet, she will as soon as he smiles looking deep into her eyes and holding her hands. The next day, he even apologizes to her, for being so open with his feelings. It’s the coup de grâce. And for the hunk’s sake, their dates can’t be public, because he has a girlfriend, and a secret affair is everything the wishes for, in this way, they’ll be always alone, and they’ll be able to do everything only a one-on-one date allows.


 

 

42•Dentist on call


During a dance, a guy meets a girl, and they start to talk. A little of this, a little of that, and they start making out. The guy steps back a little and says:
_I think your mouth was made for me…
All pleased and flattered, the girl says back:
_How romantic! Thanks.
The guy answers in reply:
_It’s nothing like that. I’m a dentist!

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Can it happen?
Of course. Dentists have higher quality standards regarding the mouths they kiss, they know it well and can identify any issues it might have from a distance. Not all would’ve said it like this, just open up to a girl about her dental problems. Many of them would, simply, find any excuse to leave, in order to not embarrass the girl. Some dentists, on the other hand, just lose it and throw everything up in the air.

Positive outcome:
The lady, poor thing, all embarrassed, burst into tears. What she did not know is that this dentist was a very wealthy man, really wealthy, and also, very charitable. The next day, he went to her house, in person, to pick her up and start her treatment. And what a treatment! There were many sessions, but they were all in VIP mode, even the snobbiest of the patients would envy this. At the end, there was even some tooth whitening, which turned her into a breath-taking woman. She was already very beautiful and now her teeth befitted her looks. And all that without being charged a penny. They ended up getting really close and… ended up getting married! One day, she, now his wife, said to him: _Honey, I think your wallet was made for me. The dentist asks: _Did you like it? It’s German leather. And she replies: _It’s nothing like that, sweetie, I’m going to the mall again!

Tragic outcome:
The girl did not appreciate the humiliation and slaps him across the face. He did not take it and slaps her back. The security guards come closer to them, the girl starts yelling she was beaten, but the dentist explains the situation calmly to the security guards, who kick her out of the club. She leaves humiliated and decides to get her revenge on the dentist. The dance goes on and the dentist is pleased for getting rid of that burden. A few hours later, an older gentleman approaches the dentist and asks him, while handing him his business card: _By any chance, is the blue Shelby Cobra parked outside yours? The dentist is immediately pleased for his car being recognized and answers back: _Of course it’s mine! Are you a collector? The man says, looking uneasy: _It’s not that. I own an auto repair shop…

A dentist’s feedback:
Experienced dentists can notice a variety of diseases just by the person’s breath. A systemic disorder that can be easily identified by the patients’ breath is Diabetes. Some diabetic patients have a keto breath easily distinguished. Patients with a history of alcoholism and smoking are also recognized by their breath. An interesting point is that they do not realize the smell of their own breath. In my many years of odontology, I’ve learned to identify the peculiar breath of patients with some kind of periodontitis. It’s always the same, quite unique and strong. Also, on these cases, the patients did not realize their own breath smells. By the way, it’s pretty difficult for a bad breath person to notice this. One way to fix that is to ask a child. Unlike an adult, a child will probably tell you, bluntly, whether your breath is good or bad.


 

 

61•Hitting the bull's-eye


A dentist just opened his new practice. He didn’t even had had time to put his name on the door and was already waiting for his first patient. Suddenly, a gorgeous blond walks into his practice, of a very special beauty, stunning. She tells him she thinks her tooth chipped and asks him to take a look. He’s blown away by her beauty and starts to chat with her. He asks her what was she doing in town and she explains:
_I’m a sexologist and I’m here to present my doctoral dissertation at the university.
_Oh, that’s nice. What is your thesis about? – asks the dentist.
All flirty, she explains:
_After researching all around the world, I’ve figured out that the most masculine men, the strongest, most virile, the ones with the most sexual appetite, are the men descendent from an intermixing between the Native-American and the German. This mix is amazing, these men are any women dream on earth. By the way, let me introduce myself, my name is Fernanda. Nice to meet you.
_It is my pleasure. Indian chief Schneider, at your disposal. – answers back the dentist.

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Can it happen?
You wish… Not here, not in Germany or in any Indian tribe. And if you must know, the best men, the ones with the best sexual performance are the ones descendent from the Arab people, did you know? Fernanda is completely wrong!

Positive outcome:
The sexologist is ecstatic about the dentist. What a happy coincidence for her. She gets very curious and interested in proving all her theories. Could it be a better outcome than this one? Soon the dentist and her are far away from the practice, chatting very close together at a local upscale bar, between glasses of wine, in order to spice things up for later. Did you like it? For sure, that’s the best outcome of the book!

Tragic outcome:
The sexologist starts to get very interested on the dentist, wishing she could prove all her theories, but, suddenly, she looks at the wall and sees his graduation degree. She gets closer to read it and realize the name written there is from some “Doctor Smith”. The dentist tries to fix things by telling her this Doctor Smith is another colleague that works there with him. She gets suspicious. Right after, his assistant walks in to deliver his mail and calls him by the name: Doctor Smith. Right there, immediately, the sexologist’s interest disappears. She doesn’t even want her tooth fixed. The play is over, the dentist is speechless. The gorgeous patient stands up and leaves, without saying goodbye to the liar.
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A dentist’s feedback:
The most interesting thing about this history is, again, to prove that instincts are always right. It doesn’t matter if we’re acting professionally or not, in charge or not of the work’s obligations and responsibilities. If these obligations and responsibilities are up against instincts, they’ll lose, hard. The instincts are something that overpowers reason, it doesn’t care about what the society thinks is right or wrong and what makes people act the way they do. Is it possible to balance instincts within the professional life? Yes, it is, it must be, otherwise all dentists would surely latch onto pretty blondes who showed up at their practices. The way to do that is using intelligence and discernment, which are human beings’ traits. Well, I’m not talking about to all of them, but fortunately to the most part.


 

 

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